Waxing Diabolical

Sep. 19th, 2017 01:00 pm
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Waxing Diabolical
Rarity: Althooough... As "fond farewells" go, marrying a future campaign villain isn't that bad... Twilight Sparkle: Seems like a, y'know, dangerous occupation? Being a Big Bad's wife?
Rarity: To clarify, I'm speaking in terms of storytelling oppportunities. Maybe I become the catalyst for a redemption arc. Maybe I am corrupted and am forced to fight my former friends. Or maybe, once said villain is dispatched – one way or another – I inherit the spoils of his evil empire and use them in... better ways. Yes, I'd say marrying a villain is quite interesting, actually.
Rainbow Dash: That is a special kind of messed up.
DM: ...said the kill-crazy mercenary horse.

Foe of Nature

Sep. 16th, 2017 01:00 pm
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Foe of Nature
DM: Once you've, er, collected yourself... the animals all gather around you and ask what you wanted to talk about.
Fluttershy: Oh. Finally. Okay, I was wondering if you could share what you know about Prince Blueblood.
DM: Aaaand they're gone again.
Fluttershy: What NOW?! Wwwwait – the animals are scared of the Prince?
Applejack: Huh, that's... ominous. Don't suppose it's as simple as, say, wearin' an endangered species as a coat from time to time?
Rarity: <sigh> I'm marrying a villain, aren't I? Oh well.
Twilight Sparkle: You should maybe act a little more concerned than that.

So Cute It's Scary

Sep. 14th, 2017 01:00 pm
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So Cute It's Scary
Fluttershy: Do I really have to set up a trap?
Caretaker: Helps sell the bit! Now give 'em yer best "evil animal hunter" speech!
Fluttershy: ... <sigh> Um, I'll get you, my pretties... I'll catch you, and make bear rugs, and... um, feather headdresses, and... other... animal things... When I'm done with you, you'll be so scared that you'll... run and scream, yeah! So you better not fall into any of my traps. Better not let me see you, or touch you, or cuddle you... Because, uh, I'm a big scary hunter! I've been all around the globe, hunting cute little critters just like you. And tonight is, um, your turn. Mwahaha.
DM: Roll Intimidate. With an... undisclosed modifier.
Fluttershy: <roll> AHHH! I rolled a 2! Did I fail?!
DM: Well... Have you ever heard of "arithmetic underflow"? Nevermind. Let's just say your monologue was so... unusual, it looped around to being... compelling. You hear paws clapping, feet stomping, wings flapping – a modest round of applause!
Fluttershy: I hated every second of that.

Tell You No Lies

Sep. 12th, 2017 01:00 pm
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Tell You No Lies
Rainbow Dash: Hey, what about me? Can I ask the Wonderbolts about the Prince now?
DM: Sssssssurrrre...
Rainbow Dash: That sounded promising.
DM: Sorry, just thinking about how they would respond... In between chatting up some rich nobles, she says:
Spitfire: Prince Blueblood? Oh. Um. He's great! Yeah, all around great guy, that Prince.
Rainbow Dash: Pays well, huh? You guys did some mercenary work for him?
Spitfire: Ahaha... Of course you'd just ask something like that... Look, squirt. If you wanna get paid the big bits for Barbarian work, there's one thing you gotta respect.
Rainbow Dash: And what's that?
Spitfire: The client's privacy. Got it?
Rainbow Dash: Oh, I think I "got" plenty outta this...

Animal Control

Sep. 9th, 2017 01:00 pm
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Animal Control
Fluttershy: Alright, so... what is this secret method to befriending the animals?
Caretaker: You gotta play "Tag" with 'em!
Fluttershy: What.
Caretaker: Well, more like pretend-play "Hunt" with 'em. See, these are exotic animals rescued from all around the world. They're used to hunters tryin' to poach 'em. But now that they're here, they're a little antsy with nothin' to do. So if you play the old part, try to trap and catch them – as long as you make it clear yer not actually out to hurt 'em – they'll appreciate the chance to run around, and pretty soon they'll cozy on up to you!
(beat)
Fluttershy: That doesn't make any sense.

Etiquette of Contempt

Sep. 7th, 2017 01:00 pm
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Etiquette of Contempt
DM: Blueblood buys a couple of your apple fritters, one for him and one for Dainty Dove. He samples his fritter and says:
Prince Blueblood: As apple fritters go, I have to admit it's a top-notch recipe.
Twilight Sparkle: So, he can at least act polite. Any idea why he might secretly hate you, though? Have you met before?
Applejack: I dunno, have I?
DM: You're fairly sure you've never met him in your life.
Applejack: ...Not leavin' much ambiguity on that one, huh?
DM: On his way back into the palace, he adds: Though you should be aware that you're competing with the free buffet in the banquet hall.
Applejack: Hey, at least I already sold an apple pie tonight!
Rainbow Dash: To the one guy who is obsessively... obsessed with pie.
Applejack: Right, right... Well, Prince's movin' anyway; maybe Ah'll change tactics a bit.

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